Tag: high school

High School Men’s Volleyball

Senior year in highschool is an odd time. Of course, many students check out. They fall victim to the draw of “senioritis”. Most students experience loss. For many years, a sport or activity has consumed a large amount of their time and energy. Then, one day, the season is over. 

I played football in highschool, but I was not going to play in college. I was passionate about football. I saw myself as a football player. Then, the season ended. I never played again. It has been over 15 years, I have not never put on a helmet or laced my cleats. It’s over. 

Basketball was similar. I was offered an opportunity to play basketball in college, but I decided to join the debate team instead. In the following years, I played here or there. Basketball is no longer part of my life. In my basketball prime, I went to the gym and played pick-up games for hours. Guys wore t-shirts which read, “Basketball is Life”. I agreed. 

High school classes were painfully easy. College was easy too. The first time I was really academically challenged was when I took Elementary Hebrew. Did you know they write backwards? 

After basketball season my senior year, I had too much time on my hands. One of my school’s favorite teachers, Mr. Powers, started a men’s volleyball team. Besides having an awesome name, Mr. Powers was a beast at volleyball. I never took a class with him, but I heard good things. My best friend Derrin and I joined. 

As part of the process of joining, we supplied Mr. Powers with a black t-shirt and ironed on a number. This was our uniform. I figured the t-shirt would match our spandex shorts and knee pads. Mr. Powers informed us that only girls wear knee pads. If he was calling me a sissy for not wanting to bump my knee, he did it very diplomatically. He also said we would wear basketball shorts. I was going to have to find another way to show off my meaty thighs. 

We had one practice before our first game. We knew most of the rules. I later found out that most volleyball teams will hit the ball on their side of the net 3 times even if they can get it back over on 1 or 2. At the time, they called it “bump, set, spike.” We did not follow this formula. As soon as the ball came on our side of the net, we hit it back over. 

I discovered that I enjoyed playing on the front line. While I’m 6’8”, I have the vertical leaping ability of a hippopotamus. Still, my height was an enormous advantage. I did not 100% know how to hit the ball and was called for a “lift” 3 or 4 times that game. I didn’t understand. 

I saw girls volleyball players celebrate after every point. Our team was much too disorganized for that, but I didn’t let that stop me. My friend Derrin and I chestbumped after every made point for the entire game. No one ever joined us. Our shenanigans looked odd because I am a full foot taller than Derrin. Years later, I got married and Derrin was a groomsman. We have a photo of us chest bumping in a church wearing suits.   

Despite not knowing how to play volleyball, we won our first game. We then had a few practices, learned the rules and techniques, and lost every other game for the rest of the season. I blame Brian Oval. In our rotation, he served when I was in the middle of the front row. He insisted on serving overhand and did not get a single serve in all season. He should have served underhand like a granny because the literal giant is in the best position for his considerable height. Volleyball was pretty fun, but Brian Oval sucks.

by Categories: Blog 2023Tags: Leave a comment

Trying on Speedos

I have a friend. I will not mention his name because he has the respect of his children and parents, but he will recognize this story. In high school, we were close. It was that time in our lives when we had a measure of freedom and very little responsibility. High school students get into trouble with that combination. They drink until someone gets alcohol poisoning, hook up until someone is pregnant, or party until someone grows a mullet. 

My nameless friend and I were different. I would like to say that we were the epitome of morality, so I will. We were the epitome of morality. We were the kind of young men adults admire. People looked up to us. Well, they mostly looked up to me because I am very tall (and handsome). 

I don’t know about my nameless friend, but my morality came from a place of superiority. I could avoid trouble and feel better than other people all by not doing stuff I wasn’t invited to do anyway? Sign me up. 

Abundant freedom and little responsibility still caused us to do some dumb things. I say “us”, but most of it was my idea. He rode shotgun while I slowly drove past the mall blaring “Who Let the Dogs Out?” from the speakers of my 1972 Mercury. (This was 2004.) We went downtown for the New Year’s Eve fireworks, got restless waiting around until midnight, and super glued coins to the sidewalk. We watched at a safe distance while people failed to pick them up. My nameless friend was inspired by this for a subsequent science fair project. 

One afternoon, we were again trying to fill our time without resorting to intoxication or fornication. We went to Dick’s Sporting Goods. We went through all the sections touching the sporting equipment. 

Then I saw it. Speedos. 

I was a “wear a t-shirt in the pool” kind of guy. However, this was a special opportunity. 

We each grabbed a Speedo and headed to the dressing room. I said “we”, but we were in different dressing rooms. 

I folded myself into the swimming device. I never felt so European. After admiring myself in the mirror for several minutes, the time came. 

We each stepped out of our dressing rooms and admired each other. I looked at the name of the store. We were in the right place.

by Categories: Blog 2023Tags: , Leave a comment

Not Hovis Approved

I spent way too many Saturdays at school. For 8 years, I was a speech and debate coach. Between October and March, I spent most Saturdays at a local high school’s debate tournament. Sometimes the tournaments were fancy, and I got to spend the day on a college campus like Stanford or Harvard. Most of the time I was stuck at a public school in the Denver Metro area like Cherry Creek, George Washington, or Chatfield. Tournaments start at 8 in the morning, but I’m required to be there before 7:30. They are not just boring, they are long and can easily last until 8 or 9PM. That was my life for nearly a decade. 

I often miss teaching. I do not miss debate tournaments. High schools are not built for comfort. If I wasn’t forced to judge a debate, I spent my time looking for a comfortable chair which were rare. The library might have one, but sometimes the library was off limits due to tournament activity. 

I was often forced to sit on furniture designed for high school children. I’m 6’8” and curvy. You could smoosh 4 or 5 high school kids into each other and still not match my formidable girth. The plastic circles attached to the cafeteria tables were only a tease. Maybe 30% of my ample posterior would be supported by such a “seat”. That left 70% spilling over the edges like when you push your thumb into play-doh. 

Some schools have tables and chairs. The school I taught at had these furnishings. While not overly pleasant, this configuration was acceptable. 

Desks were another story. Some desks had chairs and were not much more than small tables. I’m ok with those. Other desks have the chair attached. Why? Are these 2 items often separated from each other? The desk/chair combo also fails to consider that people are different sizes. Some freshmen have not reached 5 feet in height. While others are huge. I, for one, was 6’8” on the first day of my freshman year. If my school had desk/chair combos, I’d still be stuck in one. 

I went to several debate tournaments at Golden High School. It’s not as nice as it sounds, but it’s not that bad. It, however, lacks any adult seating. The choices presented to me were either sit in a desk/chair combo or stand. After I was sick of standing, I slid into a desk/chair combo. It was not the wraparound style that I was used to from elementary school. You know, the one that assumes every person is right handed. Instead, this was a normal chair attached to a small table-like desk. My back was firmly against the back of the chair. My belly spilled over onto the desk. It was not a good look, but things got a lot worse. 

I sat there cursing the shortsighted person who purchased these desks when the worst happened. The desk broke. The legs gave way. The desktop was still attached and trapped me. My weight was keeping pressure on the top of my legs because the desktop and the seat were connected. It was like a full body chinese finger trap. I could not get out. 

Maybe I could roll to the side? 

At debate tournaments, I am often in an empty classroom waiting for students. I could also be in a classroom with a couple of high school students. In my moment of crisis, neither was the case. I was in the coaches’ lounge, a classroom set aside for coaches to wait and consume processed foods. Am I lucky that people were there to help me or mortified that so many people witnessed the destruction of property via my weighty body? Honestly, neither. These people were speech and debate coaches. I don’t care about their opinion of me. They’re nerds. 

by Categories: Blog 2023Tags: , , Leave a comment

High School Court Date

During my senior year of high school, I skipped school to go to court. 

My school was unique to say the least. Some schools call the student body a “family”. For my school it made sense. The year before I had 9 people in my grade. In order to fully field a football team, we included students who went to an “alternative” school which did not have a football team. One of the guys was late to our game because he spent the night at the hospital. He had the plastic bracelet to prove it. He wasn’t injured or ill. He was becoming a father. Few things are more “alternative” than playing high school football hours after witnessing the miracle of childbirth. He put a wristband over the hospital bracelet for protection. Not that he knew much about protection. 

That school officially ceased operations after my junior year, but another school took over the building. Many of the former teachers and students went to the new school out of nothing more than habit. 

This school was much bigger. My senior class was 24. 

My career ambition was to become a judge. The robes looked flattering, and I could swing a little hammer. While my rinky dink school could not adequately prepare me for a life of the law, it did have one peculiar advantage. I was well known and well liked. My reputation was spotless. 

One Tuesday morning, I executed my plan. I woke up early, dressed in my thrift store suit, and went to the courthouse. Time to witness the legal system. 

After parking my 30 year old car, I went through security. I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t this. The place was huge and uninviting. They must not get curious teenagers there very often. I looked for a welcome booth or a directory. Nothing. So I just wandered the halls. 

As I was walking outside of a row of courtrooms, a man grabbed me from behind. He had me in a backward bearhug. He quickly let me go, and I noticed that he was well dressed but a bit sleazy, a real life lawyer.  

“Oh, I thought you were Tony.” He said. 

“I’m not.” I said. 

“What are you doing here, kid?” He said. 

“I want to watch a trial.” I said. 

“You can watch my trial. It’s about to start.” He said. 

I watched the entirety of the trial about vandalism and had lunch with my new lawyer friend. The jury returned a non-guilty verdict at the same time school was letting out. 

I went home. A few hours later, my mom came home. 

“How was school today?” She asked. 

“I didn’t go. I watched a trial at the courthouse.” I said. 

“Ok,” She said.

The next day at school, I was called into the principal’s office. He asked me about skipping school. I told him what I did. My reputation preceded me, and I suffered no repercussions.

As a rule, I only skip school to further my education.

by Categories: Blog 2023Tags: , , Leave a comment